I wish I knew which button to push
Then I'd know how to please you
It's sad but true
So I'll just listen in down the line
While you're busy mixing grape with grain
To sedate your pain
Songbird, you got tales to tell
How many times can you describe your living hell
The sweeping gesture creates a fuss
It's only useful when receiving praise
Relieving no-ones pain
If you'd let somebody love you just enough
You's have everything you need to break
free from all your pain
Songbird, you got tales to tell
How many times can you describe your living hell
If you'd let somebody love you just enough
Songbird
Lyrics by Bernard Fanning
(Oh! Bernard! How you speak to Me!)
Monday, December 17, 2007
To Be Continued...
So it was Saturday morning...
I drove home to have a quick shower but Wemmaly was in there. I didn't say hello; the door was wide open and she'd let the dog inside even though I'd told her he's an Outside dog only. I grabbed his collar and lead and put him in the car. Then we went and got little Son from Grandma's and went over to see hubby.
His sister had picked him up from the hospital. He was still in his same work clothes two days after his accident. I was sitting out on the back veranda. He told me how he had been trying to open a window when it had happened; he said the piece of glass had gone in about fifteen millimetres and that the wound was the same size as a marble. I felt sick when he told me he could see the veins and muscles and how the tendons had snapped when he was wiggling his fingers for the nurse.
I asked if he wanted to come and watch the Boy's play cricket down at the oval. He said he did. We sat together at the park; I had two beers but he was on antibiotics. When the game was finished he walked up to the Pub. I drove Kasper and Filthy Phil up there. Hubby bought me a beer and we stayed about an hour. Then I drove him back to his Mother's. When I dropped him off he said he'd call me tomorrow and that we could have lunch or dinner together.
On the way home I stopped in to see CC and Norty. They ended up feeding me a plate of pork and crackle oozing with gravy and then I went home to bed. I hadn't slept for thirty six hours. I slept like the dead.
When I woke up Chopper was asleep with Wemmaly. On my couch. My beautiful suede couch. He saw me coming and got outside in just the nick of time. I don't care what other people let their dogs do; but mine Knows he's not allowed inside let alone on my fucking lounge. When she woke up Wemmaly said she had a 'dead leg'.
Me: That would be from the dog. You left the front door open all night. He's not allowed in. He's got fleas.
Wemmaly: I know. I spent two hours de-fleaing him.
(WTF? On my lounge?)
Sunday; hubby rang After lunch. He asked me what I was making for tea. I told him lasagna. His mother dropped him in about five thirty with little Son. We ate just after six. Then we watched television for a while. Around eight thirty his Mother came back to collect him.
Monday I had a talk to Wemmaly; it's just not going to work out, us living together. She wants her space and I want mine back. It's not just the half hour showers or leaving the lights and television on all night; even though I would dread the electricity/phone/water bill every quarter if we did. Or even letting the dog in on my couch. We realised that she's out to move on with her life and I'm hell-bent on getting the life I had back. She's not cut out for the Burbs. She wants a bigger city than this. New experiences and places. And I want my local Pubs. And the mates I already have. And hubby.
He called past Monday afternoon. I asked him what was going on with 'Us'. He said he would consider moving back in but not right away. I asked him if I should go ahead with putting in the seperation papers at Centrelink. He told me that I had better if I wanted any money to live on.
So Tuesday I dropped in all of the paperwork. And we Seperated. Officially.
On the way home I got a cask of wine and cried for the next four hours. Somewhere in the middle of this Twink sent me a message.
Twink: Have you been getting any love letters from Fido?
I rang him up.
Me: Three so far.
(NB The texts he sent were in regard to Miss Fancy Pants bringing her new boyfriend to Twink's house on the weekend. Fido thinks we were disrespecting him by welcoming in her new man to our circle of mates. Like we told him; MFP is our friend too and we won't disrepect her by discluding anyone she brings around, regardless of how that makes Fido feel. He'd sent messages to me, Twink and Daz telling us we were untrustworthy and disrespectful. I'd made the mistake of acknowledging them; hence why I'd received three 'love letters').
Twink: What's up with you? Have you got a cold?
Me: No. I'm sooking. On the piss. By myself.
He told me that things would work out with hubby in the end and not to worry so much about it. Good old Twinkle Toes. For someone who's so adamant that he doesn't give a shit about anything he's actually a bit of a softie.
Wednesday I went to work hungover. I worked Thursday, too. Wemmaly told me she'd mind the kids for me while I went to trivia. Hubby had a doctor's appointment in the morning which I drove him to. Afterwards we met up at the Pub. Twink and C were there too. Hubby won seventeen hundred dollars on the pokies and decided to stay for trivia. There was only one problem. Where was he going to stay for the night?
Me: I suppose you could crash in little Son's bed if you wanted to...
By now Fido had forgiven us for treating MFP's boyfriend with respect. I sat at his table with Golden Shower Boy and a few others. At one point we were sitting there together while the other's were out having a ciggy. There was an uncomfortable silence.
Me: So. (Pause) What about this Baffler question?
GSB: (Unintelligable mumble)...
I gave up trying to converse with him. He makes no sense at the best of times.
Hubby and I caught a cab back to my house. He went into little Son's bed and fell asleep. Wemmaly and I sat up drinking and talking for another hour.
I was drunk. I opened the door to little Son's room and saw him laying there; his bandaged wrist behind his head. Then I did what any other person might have done, too.
I went in.
And told him to move over and make some room for me.
And he did...
I drove home to have a quick shower but Wemmaly was in there. I didn't say hello; the door was wide open and she'd let the dog inside even though I'd told her he's an Outside dog only. I grabbed his collar and lead and put him in the car. Then we went and got little Son from Grandma's and went over to see hubby.
His sister had picked him up from the hospital. He was still in his same work clothes two days after his accident. I was sitting out on the back veranda. He told me how he had been trying to open a window when it had happened; he said the piece of glass had gone in about fifteen millimetres and that the wound was the same size as a marble. I felt sick when he told me he could see the veins and muscles and how the tendons had snapped when he was wiggling his fingers for the nurse.
I asked if he wanted to come and watch the Boy's play cricket down at the oval. He said he did. We sat together at the park; I had two beers but he was on antibiotics. When the game was finished he walked up to the Pub. I drove Kasper and Filthy Phil up there. Hubby bought me a beer and we stayed about an hour. Then I drove him back to his Mother's. When I dropped him off he said he'd call me tomorrow and that we could have lunch or dinner together.
On the way home I stopped in to see CC and Norty. They ended up feeding me a plate of pork and crackle oozing with gravy and then I went home to bed. I hadn't slept for thirty six hours. I slept like the dead.
When I woke up Chopper was asleep with Wemmaly. On my couch. My beautiful suede couch. He saw me coming and got outside in just the nick of time. I don't care what other people let their dogs do; but mine Knows he's not allowed inside let alone on my fucking lounge. When she woke up Wemmaly said she had a 'dead leg'.
Me: That would be from the dog. You left the front door open all night. He's not allowed in. He's got fleas.
Wemmaly: I know. I spent two hours de-fleaing him.
(WTF? On my lounge?)
Sunday; hubby rang After lunch. He asked me what I was making for tea. I told him lasagna. His mother dropped him in about five thirty with little Son. We ate just after six. Then we watched television for a while. Around eight thirty his Mother came back to collect him.
Monday I had a talk to Wemmaly; it's just not going to work out, us living together. She wants her space and I want mine back. It's not just the half hour showers or leaving the lights and television on all night; even though I would dread the electricity/phone/water bill every quarter if we did. Or even letting the dog in on my couch. We realised that she's out to move on with her life and I'm hell-bent on getting the life I had back. She's not cut out for the Burbs. She wants a bigger city than this. New experiences and places. And I want my local Pubs. And the mates I already have. And hubby.
He called past Monday afternoon. I asked him what was going on with 'Us'. He said he would consider moving back in but not right away. I asked him if I should go ahead with putting in the seperation papers at Centrelink. He told me that I had better if I wanted any money to live on.
So Tuesday I dropped in all of the paperwork. And we Seperated. Officially.
On the way home I got a cask of wine and cried for the next four hours. Somewhere in the middle of this Twink sent me a message.
Twink: Have you been getting any love letters from Fido?
I rang him up.
Me: Three so far.
(NB The texts he sent were in regard to Miss Fancy Pants bringing her new boyfriend to Twink's house on the weekend. Fido thinks we were disrespecting him by welcoming in her new man to our circle of mates. Like we told him; MFP is our friend too and we won't disrepect her by discluding anyone she brings around, regardless of how that makes Fido feel. He'd sent messages to me, Twink and Daz telling us we were untrustworthy and disrespectful. I'd made the mistake of acknowledging them; hence why I'd received three 'love letters').
Twink: What's up with you? Have you got a cold?
Me: No. I'm sooking. On the piss. By myself.
He told me that things would work out with hubby in the end and not to worry so much about it. Good old Twinkle Toes. For someone who's so adamant that he doesn't give a shit about anything he's actually a bit of a softie.
Wednesday I went to work hungover. I worked Thursday, too. Wemmaly told me she'd mind the kids for me while I went to trivia. Hubby had a doctor's appointment in the morning which I drove him to. Afterwards we met up at the Pub. Twink and C were there too. Hubby won seventeen hundred dollars on the pokies and decided to stay for trivia. There was only one problem. Where was he going to stay for the night?
Me: I suppose you could crash in little Son's bed if you wanted to...
By now Fido had forgiven us for treating MFP's boyfriend with respect. I sat at his table with Golden Shower Boy and a few others. At one point we were sitting there together while the other's were out having a ciggy. There was an uncomfortable silence.
Me: So. (Pause) What about this Baffler question?
GSB: (Unintelligable mumble)...
I gave up trying to converse with him. He makes no sense at the best of times.
Hubby and I caught a cab back to my house. He went into little Son's bed and fell asleep. Wemmaly and I sat up drinking and talking for another hour.
I was drunk. I opened the door to little Son's room and saw him laying there; his bandaged wrist behind his head. Then I did what any other person might have done, too.
I went in.
And told him to move over and make some room for me.
And he did...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
So Much To Say...
So much to say...
So little time.
I guess I start at Thursday night. Trivia. Grandma had hubby and the kids. Fido picked me up so I wouldn't drink drive. I felt obligated to be on his team even when Golden Shower Boy joined the table. We came fourth. A disgrace. I was sitting outside having a cigarette when suddenly I saw a dart of a dog come flying up the stairs. It was hubby's dog, Chopper. He's a Staffy cross who is blind in one eye after coming off second best in a car accident. He must have sniffed me out.
Me: What's my fucking dog doing at the Pub?
Then Wemmaly came up the stairs; to pick me up. I told her she shouldn't have bought the dog with her when she came to get me. She told me that the dog had wanted to come.
Maybe I need to go back to Monday afternoon...
There was a massive storm brewing; I was picking up little Son from school and Wemmaly was in the car waiting. Little Son and I raced back through the thick drops of rain to the car and discovered a stray dog in the back seat. A smelly wet dog.
Wemmmaly: I couldn't leave the poor thing out in the rain. I've rung it's owners. They're on the way.
Meanwhile; little Son was freaking out at the impending storm. I guess the Long Weekend flood in June was still playing on his mind. I guess that's what happens after your Mother almost drives your car into a storm water drain and you have to get rescued and your car is written off. To this day he still won't get out of the car if I've parked across a drain in the gutter.
Wemmaly (to little Son): Oh; come on! You're not afraid of storms!
LS: Mummy! Please; lets go home!
I told her she'd have to wait for the guy to come. She got the smelly dog out and we drove home.
Friday afternoon came around. I was at the Pub. I'd organised a Little Something to make the night more interesting. When I told Wemmaly she tried to make me promise to wait for her to take it; so that we could both be high at the same time. Problem is I don't like doing Guilt-Trips.
I didn't wait. I got on it with Mac and Jen.
Back up a minute. I've forgotten something important. Hubby's accident.
Thursday; before trivia. I was sitting with Twink when his phone rang. It was hubby; letting Twink know he was waiting in the ER. He'd gone through a plate glass window at work and severed two tendons in his wrist. I messaged him. He didn't reply. I called his parents; they'd just gotten home from work and hadn't heard anything about it, but they promised to keep me informed when they heard anything. Half hour later Mother-in-law called; she told me hubby was still waiting to be seen and didn't want to see me. This upset me somewhat. So I deleted his name from my phone. Twink told me I was over reacting.
The next day I had to go to work. A lady from the insurance company rang about work cover and I had to tell her that we were separated and maybe she should be speaking to his mother. A few minutes later Mother-in-law called. I cried to her on the phone because I was upset that hubby hadn't returned any of my messages or calls.
When I got to work I told my boss J that I had my phone with me up on the floor in case I heard word about hubby's surgery. I was relieved a little while later when I got a message from him saying that he would have to stay another night in hospital as his operation wasn't scheduled until six that night.
I called him. We hadn't spoken in six days. I asked if he wanted any clothes or magazines brought up to him. He said that he was alright and didn't need anything. I told him that the kids wanted to see him when he got out and that I'd take them around the following day when he got released from hospital. He said okay and we hung up.
So I was at the Pub Friday night; with all the crew minus hubby. Miss Fancy Pants called and said she would turn up in a while. I was having great fun smoking pipes with Franky out in the beer garden. Someone gave me a tablet and a Yeiger-bomb to chase it down with.
Then MFP's new boyfriend showed up. He's balding, near fifty and she's taken by him. Good luck to her I say. Fido (her Ex) showed up at Twink's later on and spotted him on the lounge. He caused a scene; MFP and friend left for the Central Coast; and I made her promise to stop into my house for a coffee on the way if she was hell-bent on driving. She did; and then they left. I haven't spoken to her since...
Meanwhile; back at Twink's....
Golden Shower Boy had gotten in on the act. He and Fido were arguing with the rest of Us that MFP's boyfriend should not have been invited around to Twink's. Daz, Twink and I stood our ground. After all they have been broken up for almost four months and she (MFP) is our friend now regardless of their broken relationship. Besides; it would've been rude to just tell him to fuck off.
Next thing you know, GSB is running around after Daz, chasing him in circles around Twink's car; trying to get Daz to fight him. Daz told him he was crazy if he thought he was going to stop.
Jen Jen and I sat up drinking until almost dawn with Jeffro and his wife A (though admittedly I cut myself off knowing I was going to have to drive before ten am). I spent my last twenty bucks on smokes and then went to collect little Son from Grandma's.
Then I drove over to see hubby...
And that's where we'll leave it for Today.
So little time.
I guess I start at Thursday night. Trivia. Grandma had hubby and the kids. Fido picked me up so I wouldn't drink drive. I felt obligated to be on his team even when Golden Shower Boy joined the table. We came fourth. A disgrace. I was sitting outside having a cigarette when suddenly I saw a dart of a dog come flying up the stairs. It was hubby's dog, Chopper. He's a Staffy cross who is blind in one eye after coming off second best in a car accident. He must have sniffed me out.
Me: What's my fucking dog doing at the Pub?
Then Wemmaly came up the stairs; to pick me up. I told her she shouldn't have bought the dog with her when she came to get me. She told me that the dog had wanted to come.
Maybe I need to go back to Monday afternoon...
There was a massive storm brewing; I was picking up little Son from school and Wemmaly was in the car waiting. Little Son and I raced back through the thick drops of rain to the car and discovered a stray dog in the back seat. A smelly wet dog.
Wemmmaly: I couldn't leave the poor thing out in the rain. I've rung it's owners. They're on the way.
Meanwhile; little Son was freaking out at the impending storm. I guess the Long Weekend flood in June was still playing on his mind. I guess that's what happens after your Mother almost drives your car into a storm water drain and you have to get rescued and your car is written off. To this day he still won't get out of the car if I've parked across a drain in the gutter.
Wemmaly (to little Son): Oh; come on! You're not afraid of storms!
LS: Mummy! Please; lets go home!
I told her she'd have to wait for the guy to come. She got the smelly dog out and we drove home.
Friday afternoon came around. I was at the Pub. I'd organised a Little Something to make the night more interesting. When I told Wemmaly she tried to make me promise to wait for her to take it; so that we could both be high at the same time. Problem is I don't like doing Guilt-Trips.
I didn't wait. I got on it with Mac and Jen.
Back up a minute. I've forgotten something important. Hubby's accident.
Thursday; before trivia. I was sitting with Twink when his phone rang. It was hubby; letting Twink know he was waiting in the ER. He'd gone through a plate glass window at work and severed two tendons in his wrist. I messaged him. He didn't reply. I called his parents; they'd just gotten home from work and hadn't heard anything about it, but they promised to keep me informed when they heard anything. Half hour later Mother-in-law called; she told me hubby was still waiting to be seen and didn't want to see me. This upset me somewhat. So I deleted his name from my phone. Twink told me I was over reacting.
The next day I had to go to work. A lady from the insurance company rang about work cover and I had to tell her that we were separated and maybe she should be speaking to his mother. A few minutes later Mother-in-law called. I cried to her on the phone because I was upset that hubby hadn't returned any of my messages or calls.
When I got to work I told my boss J that I had my phone with me up on the floor in case I heard word about hubby's surgery. I was relieved a little while later when I got a message from him saying that he would have to stay another night in hospital as his operation wasn't scheduled until six that night.
I called him. We hadn't spoken in six days. I asked if he wanted any clothes or magazines brought up to him. He said that he was alright and didn't need anything. I told him that the kids wanted to see him when he got out and that I'd take them around the following day when he got released from hospital. He said okay and we hung up.
So I was at the Pub Friday night; with all the crew minus hubby. Miss Fancy Pants called and said she would turn up in a while. I was having great fun smoking pipes with Franky out in the beer garden. Someone gave me a tablet and a Yeiger-bomb to chase it down with.
Then MFP's new boyfriend showed up. He's balding, near fifty and she's taken by him. Good luck to her I say. Fido (her Ex) showed up at Twink's later on and spotted him on the lounge. He caused a scene; MFP and friend left for the Central Coast; and I made her promise to stop into my house for a coffee on the way if she was hell-bent on driving. She did; and then they left. I haven't spoken to her since...
Meanwhile; back at Twink's....
Golden Shower Boy had gotten in on the act. He and Fido were arguing with the rest of Us that MFP's boyfriend should not have been invited around to Twink's. Daz, Twink and I stood our ground. After all they have been broken up for almost four months and she (MFP) is our friend now regardless of their broken relationship. Besides; it would've been rude to just tell him to fuck off.
Next thing you know, GSB is running around after Daz, chasing him in circles around Twink's car; trying to get Daz to fight him. Daz told him he was crazy if he thought he was going to stop.
Jen Jen and I sat up drinking until almost dawn with Jeffro and his wife A (though admittedly I cut myself off knowing I was going to have to drive before ten am). I spent my last twenty bucks on smokes and then went to collect little Son from Grandma's.
Then I drove over to see hubby...
And that's where we'll leave it for Today.
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