It's All About Me...

So where was I?

Oh yeah...

Hubby moved over and I jumped into little Son's bed beside him. It felt good knowing that at least if we broke up again then the last time he touched me wasn't with his hands around my throat banging my head into a wall.

Oh Readers! What am I doing?

He stayed the next night too. When we spoke about what was happening he said that he would like to move back in but that it was uncomfortable with Wemmaly still sleeping on the lounge. He doesn't like tip-toeing around the house in the morning. So we decided to keep it casual; him staying at his mother's through the week and coming home here on the weekends to my place. Problem is that since his accident at work he hasn't been Back to work. His holidays started early and he's not due back until the seventh of January. He hasn't slept at his mother's house at all except for Christmas Eve.

Christmas was shit by the way. We had it at my Sister's house. She rang hubby and told him he was still invited regardless of what was going on between us. His mother didn't give me the same consideration. Apparently you stop being a part of someone's family when you break up. (It was only after I cried to hubby that she bothered to invite me over for their Boxing Day ritual at all; and it serves her right- she deserved the guilt trip).

So hubby arrived Christmas afternoon. He'd had Christmas lunch at his mother's friends house. He played with little Son and made comment on the lack of presents I'd bought for both the kids. I told him Santa was broke this year. Still; we didn't fight. Not once. And we went to sleep with our arms around each other.

Boxing Day morning we left early for his Mother's. We had lunch and the kids opened their presents. I felt stupid being there; like an Outsider. My sister-in-law (she's not even that; how can she be when I never married hubby?) was grilling me over what's been going on with hubby. I felt uncomfortable and left out and so about two I decided to leave. Mother-in-law was happy to keep the kids for the night. So hubby and I left.

We went down the Pub. That was probably the first mistake. Then hubby put most of the money his Mother had just given him for Christmas through the Pokies and then got the shits about it. We were only on our second or third beer when he decided he'd had enough and was going to the hamburger shop and then getting a taxi home. I told him I'd get my own way home and stayed with Mac. A little while later his ex-girlfriend showed up. They were going up to Magic's for a post-Christmas drink. I happily went with them knowing that Magic's house was half-way home to my house. I stayed for two drinks and a bowl of fried rice and then walked the rest of the way.

I got home just on eleven o'clock. Wemmaly was having a smoke on the back veranda. She said that hubby had only just gone to bed and they'd been sitting up talking. 'How nice'; I thought. He never does that when it's just me and him. I never get a conversation out of him. She told me that he'd told her he was sick of seeing me drink all the time; that's all I ever wanted to do. Funny. He'd neglected to tell her that he'd put all his money through the Pokies after only a few beers and that's why I had stayed behind when he had left.

Seems like he can only talk when he has an audience that appreciates him.

I had to work the next day; on the way I sent him a text saying how nice it was of him to sit up slandering me with my friend and that he was the fucktard who had put all his Christmas money through a machine and yet ironically it was Me who a problem. He ignored it.

I spewed twice at work from my hangover. When I finally got home I went straight to sleep. About six o'clock I got up hungry. I texted hubby to see if he wanted a kebab for dinner. He rang. Asked me what I was being nice for Now after yesterday and the txt this morning. I told him it was a simple question I'd asked. About a kebab. He told me he was having dinner with Twink. I told him Good.

A few hours later he rocked up. Acted like nothing had happened. Then he said he was going to sleep in eldest Son's room later and went to lay down on the couch. Wemmaly was sitting on the floor watching television. I told him I wanted a word. In private.
That if was going to stay at the house then he was going to sleep in our bed. With me. Because nothing will work out if we don't be with each other. He came to bed but only after saying that if I didn't get a grip mentally and stop doing all the things he hates about me then it is finished.

The next day was New Year's eve. I worked until two and dashed home to get showered and changed. Little Son got picked up to go and watch the fireworks with Grandma and we met up with Twink and Mac down the Pub. Then we left for Jase's house where the party was to be held.

We swam all afternoon; drinking and playing water polo. About six Wemmaly rang to see what we were up to. I gave her the address and she said she'd be up within an hour or so. Two hours later it was dark. Hubby was bored of swimming and suggested we walk down to Sandsey's party where Mac and the rest of the Pub were. We got dressed out near the pool and came in to say our goodbyes. And then Wemmaly turned up.

Well; the mood changed. Suddenly hubby wanted to go back in for a swim. I was standing there in my jeans and joggers and ready to go. It shit me off. I told him to go back in, then. He said he wanted to do what I wanted to do. I told him we'd already decided what that was. I went back up to the esky to pack up our grog. When I came back I stood by the pool gate listening to what he was saying to Twink and Wemmaly, who were in the pool. Basically; he was telling them I had the shits and wanted to leave and that he was only going because I was upset. I piped up.

Me: I'm over here listening you know. Why make out it's me who wants to go? It was your idea. Now you've changed your mind and you're making me out to be a fuckwit just to cover your arse.

I'd let out his secret. If looks could kill.

I could see Wemmaly getting upset; thinking this was all over her turning up. Maybe it was. He only showed an interest in staying after she had showed up.

Anyway; we left for Sandsey's party. He has a beautiful big house with three decks overlooking the City. We had a great view of the fireworks at midnight and then we talked (or rather hubby did) about making our relationship work out in the new year. I have to cut out the drugs and alcohol. I guess he will have to oversee this; because he officially has no problems. Just ask him.

It's all about Me.

Just after one we left; Mac and Shazza walked with us through the park. Then old Lloyd joined us. We were walking down a steep rocky path when old Lloyd suddenly started going faster and faster until the poor old bugger fell down, splitting his head open and falling on his pewter beer mug, crushing it flat. He'd knocked himself out, poor thing. When I got to him he had bark off everywhere and was bleeding from the head. At least that would explain why I had blood on my shoes the next day.

Hubby told me to leave him there; it was his own drunken fault if he'd had to much piss to drink. I told him I wasn't going to leave a 66 year old in the park with a head wound. Old Lloyd solved the problem for us; he told me he was okay but that he'd shit himself and to just leave him with Mac and Shazza. Hubby couldn't get away quick enough.

Back at Twink's we put some music on.(Twink and Wemmaly had tried to find Sandsey's but had gone to the wrong place so Wemmaly had taken a taxi back to my house. Twink said she had seemed upset because she thought that we had dumped her at Jase's. That's not true. We just wanted to go to a different party where there weren't any kids to see us getting off our faces.) About two hubby went to bed in Twink's spare room. About three he came down and turned the music off. He grabbed me by the arm and told me it was time to go to sleep. I felt like a child. Twink told him to pull his head out of his arse and turned the music back on. Louder. I went to bed so as not to cause a fuss.

He didn't try to fuck me. He put his back to me and went to sleep.

And all I wanted was a cuddle.