Monday, January 28, 2008

Steak Versus Hamburger...

So...

I got a text message from hubby last Wednesday afternoon. Simply stating that he wouldn't be home tonight.

I messaged him back...

Me: So where will you be then?

No answer. About ten minutes later I messaged again.

Me: Never mind about it. I'll feed your steak to Chopper.

Hubby: I'll come home for steak.

That was at about six o'clock...

Nine o'clock came and went. The phone rang. It was him. Telling me he was too drunk to come home for steak. I told him I hadn't cooked it anyway. Because what had been the point? He stayed the night at Twink's.

I went to work the next day. When I finished I drove home. His car was out the front but he wasn't here. I called him. He was at the Pub. He'd missed work and was on the piss. He got a taxi here about five. I was sitting on the veranda; plucking my legs and drinking beer. He patted me on the shoulder and told me he was Sorry. For not coming home. I presumed.

I mentioned that Fido had called to see if I was going to Trivia. He told me that he was too pissed to watch little Son right now and needed to have a lay down. I called pizza and went to collect it. When I got back he was fast asleep on the lounge. A little while later; with little Son happily playing his Nintendo and eldest Son using the computer I told him I was going out to play Trivia for a while. When I got back, a little after ten, they were all fast asleep in bed.

Friday morning I went to work. After work I picked up little Son from hubby's sister's house and drove him over to Grandma's for the night. I was at home waiting for hubby to get back when my phone rang. He was already at Twink's and wanted me to bring him a change of clothes. A few minutes later he rang back and told Me not to worry about it. He was going to borrow a shirt off Twink. I drove down the Pub and planted Myself next to Mac; I asked him his opinion of what I had 'done' to Wemmaly by busting her out to her Ex. He told me (along with almost everybody who knows except for Twink and hubby) that I had done the only thing I could have done. Hubby and Twink; Well. They disagree with what I did and said I should have just waited for her to pop up whenever she was good and ready.

Anyway; pretty soon I was off my head. Then Twink got a phone call from C (my old mate from work). She had asked Twink, hubby and Myself up to her house for the night. Hubby asked me if I wanted to come up for Chinese and beer. I said okay and we left. Twink drove. When he filled up with fuel he forgot to put the petrol cap back on. Now he owes me a new one.

Anyway; the night up there went fine. Hubby and I were getting on okay. Maybe something to do with being away from the Pub and the Wemmaly crisis. About two in the morning C got out a few mattresses and chucked them on the floor for us. We kissed for a bit and then he fucked me. It had been a few weeks; and it was nice. Afterwards we fell asleep holding onto each other.

Sweet...

Saturday morning we reheated the leftover Chinese for breakfast and then Twink drove us back in time for him to play cricket. Hubby and I stayed for the match and then went up to the Pub. Jen Jen and Daz joined us and so did Angie. She made a beeline straight for my table.

After a few at the Pub we decided to go back to Twink's. Wemmaly was in her bedroom with the door shut. I left her alone; I know she wasn't ready for any sort of confrontation with me just yet. I sat downstairs with Jen Jen and Angie and the others, still drinking together and having a laugh. Anyway; about midnight I noticed hubby going upstairs. And when he wasn't back in under five minutes I went looking.

I saw him through the crack of the open door. Talking to Wemmaly. I admit it pissed me off; him in there having a private conversation that I wasn't privvy to. I pushed the door open and saw the surprised look on his face. I grabbed him by the scruff of the shirt and half-pulled half-dragged him out of the room; telling him to get the fuck downstairs and tell me what was going on.

Wemmaly skipped out past us; down the stairs ignoring me. Then she got into hubby's car (he had lent it to her for the long weekend so she didn't have to get taxi's to and from work) and drove away. I haven't seen her since. But that's the way she wants it.

Hubby and I were still into it. I was yelling and screaming out the front of Twink's; I smashed a bottle of beer on the road. I was hitting him in the head and face asking him to explain himself and what he'd been up to. Because I KNEW something was up. I just didn't know then Who or What it was. He was just being really evasive about what his conversation was about.

I called a Taxi and told him to stay there the night. Again. But he got in the taxi when it pulled up and we left. The poor driver didn't know what had hopped in. When we pulled up at the lights I jumped out and ran through the park; leaving him to pay the fare. I half-ran the two kilometres home. When I got home I turned my cigarette lighter upside down; heated it up to burning and then stuck it on my forearm. I haven't done that since I was seventeen. I'd forgotten how it takes the shit away; however briefly.

He got home about ten minutes after I did. I cornered him. He wanted to go to sleep. I wasn't going to let him without knowing the Truth.

I asked him Who. I asked him When. He didn't want to tell me. I screamed at him to look me in the eye. He told me he couldn't. I made him fucking cry, People. But I got it out of him eventually.

He told me. Angie. Wednesday night. That they had just 'fooled around' on the bed.

Just wait until I see that Bitch...

Anyway; it got Better. If you can believe that.

After a night of tears and fighting I got up and went to work Sunday morning. My work friend Suey saw the burn on my arm and I told her I'd done it on the iron. She said it was weird how it had burned into the shape of an A. Not that funny; I'd say it was ironic. In the extreme sense of the word.

When I got home hubby and I went down to the Fishing Club barbecue. I apologised to Mac for breaking the beer out the front of his house and he said he hadn't heard a thing. Except for Twink throwing Angie around the bedroom next to his while he was fucking her. My mind started to boggle.

When we got home hubby and I sat out on the veranda. I asked him if Twink had fucked Angie. He said yes. Then he told me that Golden Shower Boy was with her last week too. I asked him if he had fucked her too. He looked away and didn't say a word. It told me Everything. A few minutes later he got a text from GSB. I asked hubby what GSB wanted. He told me I could read it if I wanted. I did.

GSB: I fucked her first. I don't care about her; just want to say it goes to show what sort of mate you are.

I lost my appetite and didn't want dinner. I sat out on the veranda drinking beer. Then I went and got my phone. And texted Angie.

Me: I hear you've had a busy week. Thanks for fucking my husband. I hope you wore a condom after fucking GSB. I thought you were better than that Angela.

She didn't respond. Lucky for her.

Maybe I should be more angry and upset with hubby right now. But right now all I can think about is the Town Bike who claimed to be my friend.

Slut.

8 comments:

Enchantress said...

OMG, Buffoon. This is craziness? What are you going to do? Did he say this was the first time he's cheated or has this been going on for a while? I would be crazy frustrated, too. I'm so sorry this is all happening. You deserve so much better.

Miss Construed... said...

Crazy...yes. Welcome to my fucked up life Enchantress!

I'm pretty sure it's the first time; but really- it wouldn't make much difference if it was ten times. I doubt I'll ever be able to trust him completely after this. It does make me wonder though; especially after hubby has been accusing me of sleeping around for ages(with Mac of all people; he's awesome and my best friend but he's 52). Even the other day he tried to make it all about me; we hadn't had sex in a while(ahem, yes we are SEPERATED) and telling me that I had probably fucked around already too.

On a positive note (is there one) I know him pretty well after seventeen years. His guilt will always gets the better of him and I know which buttons to push to get answers. Gut instinct told me he'd been up to something. I was right; but I wish I'd been wrong.

I honestly don't know if we can come back from this.

Elaine Denning said...

It's usually the people capable of cheating (or who have already cheated)who tend to accuse of others of doing the same thing.

God, this is awful. After everything you have put up with, this is the final kick in the stomach.

I admire people who are able to move on from this type of betrayal and start again, but I know I can't. It always comes back to haunt you in every bloody argument.

Good luck, Buffoon...I think you're gonna need it. I'm sending you a big hug. (And plesae...slap Hubby round the face for me will you, for hurting my friend.)

Miss Construed... said...

It always comes back to haunt you in every bloody argument...you say?

Funny that. It already is.

Thanks Miss. I appreciate the cyber-slap. I have friends here who want to give him one too. He's sucking up for now; he's sooked to me and Mac and I think he knows he's fucked up. I don't thnk he realises that it's fucked me head quite so much though.

I'm sure we'll see over the next few weeks...

twisted sisteract said...

Omg omg omg. This is seriously fucked up. When I first read your profile, I thought this would be something I could relate to…. But you seem too self absorbed I your own problems. While you talk about Hubbys and M’s betrayal now, have you reflected on your own recent betrayals? Seems like I read a while ago about you meeting another guy in a bar and creaming yourself over thoughts of being with him. And kissing him. Your fear and paranoia over W, who turned out to be innocent while Hubby was interested in other ladies, while you threw her friendship away and broke her and her partners heart. For what.

My advice to you is to take a good look at your own life – judge not yet you be judged, as the saying goes. The drugs and alcohol and bar lifestyle, and the effect on your little ones obviously is effecting your relationship with Hubby as well. How can you possibly expect to get happiness through these lifestyle choices. The most often you seem to mention your little ones is when you are dropping them off on the way to a bar.

Do you ever spend time as a family? All this other behaviour is destructive to family, something you said you ‘want back’. Perhaps if you spent less time and money on drugs and bars, you might have had more money for presents? Perhaps hubby might have respected you more as well?

You say in your profile you have an undiagnosed mental condition. Isn’t there anyone you could go to for help to address this, such as a counsellor, local church, or family? You seem mainly to mention the people you party with, but these are the people involved in the same destructive habits. It could be time to look outside and around for something new. Or to seek a higher power inside yourself.

Good luck

Miss Construed... said...

Well; thanks for commenting Twisted Sisteract.

If I didn't know better I'd think it was my Own two sisters writing that response.

The reason I don't mention my kids much is the fact I want them to remain anonymous. I don't mention my family either for the same reason. The reason I had no money was because it was just after xmas and I had paid all the bills while hubby spent all his in the pokies. I do my best; and if you've been reading as long as you say then why does your profile only exist since January this year?

This is my personal blog and it's called Me Myself Eye for a reason. Because it's All about me.

Interesting comments though. I'll think about them.

Miss Construed... said...

PS

And yes; I admit I had feelings for another guy.

I didn't act on them.

Jenny Wynter said...

Geez.

I dunno hon, I think - keeping in mind obviously I can only draw conclusions from what you write in your blog - that some serious blow-up like this has been coming for a long time. As painful as it is, maybe a huge catalyst for change is what's needed??

What do I know...but thinking of you. xxx